It's getting lonelier by the second !!!

I was going to go out last nite.But I decided against it. Instead I embarked upon a cooking spree.. lol It's been a minute since I've even been in my kitchen to do anything besides take my vitamens. I spent the majority of my day running errands and paying bills.. washed the car... spend a lil money and then I headed to the grocery store. I bought all the ingredients I needed to start my dinner. Came home and cooked. I made garlic red mashed potatoes, baked pork chops with a portabello mushroom gravy.. fresh brocoli crowns with grated cheddar cheese and some fresh garlic bread. After I finished cooking I looked around and realized how disturbingly quiet it was in my house. I talked on the phone for awhile and then I sat down to my dinner... ALONE. My son was of course at a friends house AGAIN. I sat there eating and feeling stupid for cooking all of this food with only myself here. Then I fell asleep on the couch watching Lemony Snickets, A series of Unfortunate Events... Very appropriate given my certain circumstances. I don't understand why this is so hard for me. Even today as I write this I feel so down and out. It's like I've been knocked down and I can't get up. I plan to get out of the house today... at least that is what I keep telling myself. I will go out for a walk later. Right now I'm just cleaning and baking.