Cali............................................................

Well, I'm still in Cali... been here since Saturday. For the most part I've enjoyed myself. Then there's Aaron. I planned on spending all of my time with him this weekend.. Just enjoying each other's company and maybe getting to each other all over again. Well, to put it in a nutshell is bombed! Aaron was very distant to me and barely paid any attention to me at all. The little time we spent together we argued about spending time... what a waste.. is it partly my fault? SURE. I should've recognized the signs. Everytime we had plans he changed them promising something else. None of which occured. Finally he tells me he doesn't want to deal with me. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Obviously, he's made his life choices. He's come back here and gotten a good job.. an new life none of which include me. I feel so crushed. I didn't know I would take it so hard. I'd thought I'd become used to not having him.. Not needing him. Truth is I do NEED him and I do WANT him. I know I've said this before..over and over again.... But this weekend I've realized... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I don't know how I will get thru this summer... without HIM. I am going home later on tonight... and I will not be returning to Cali anytime soon.