I can't make this shit up yo!

Wtf Long Beach.... The gym...

So I am at the gym doing my thang.. like I do everyday after work. I'm on the eliptical machine listening to my Janet when I notice Mr. Buff come strutting passed me. Dude is about 5'8, milk chocolate... more head than face and WHY black people WHY does he had a fade with a slicked down perm? WHY? He was hella buff.. so buff that it looked like someone injected him with SUPER steriods. I thought the veins may pop at any moment... besides his obvious unattractiveness I noticed the gear. Dude had on what appeared to be some suede mocassins and a suede vest to match... with some nike swishy pants... LMAO... Of Course I laughed....OUT FUCKING LOUD... Not to mention fake ass J-lo with the short shorts, who continues to walk past the weight lifters with her minimal boodie poked out....Oh yea, anorexic skinny chic is still hungry and weighing herself after every exercise attempt... we now have another chic that comes in the gym fully dressed and strips down to her hawaiian red biker shorts and half top right at the machine.. leaving her pile of clothes right there on the floor... Take yo ass to the locker room....I can't take much more....

Dating....
I've had some funny escapades lately... so funny that I won't even put anyone on blast, but you know who u are! Come on brotha's be honest, up front and sober when u meet me.... If I meet one more dude that's drunk, slurring...lying, crying...ect., ect., I'm gonna scream. I will say that dude from New York is Cool as a summer breeze.. When we met in person....I was impressed... And Church.... U sexy boy u sexy!! Too bad you're leaving for the ATL.. but we'll keep in touch.. Hopefully we can hang out again.... cuz u keep me laughing...glad I hustled your number at the HOB.. ;) My other friend... circumstances prevent anything more at this time... and every one else...I'm just having fun watching time fly and nigga's lie... LMAO

Pimps and ten speeds....
After the gym this evening I go to the gas station ( AS I'm Almost out of gas!)...I'm pumping my gas while the sounds of Jodeci serenade the brisk, night air.. suddenly I notice this strange apparition on the horizon... PLEASE black people... PLEASE! Understand I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP... I put the gas hose back on the pump and stepped away as to get a closer look... What do I see.??.. A slender figure resembling a cross between Snoop Dog and Cat Williams. He has a freshly curled perm with a top hat on ( as seen on Cat williams) a brown FUR coat & he's riding a yellow and blue ten speed fully equipped with yellow tennis balls in the spokes. I noticed he was carrying crutches ( WHY, I think to myself, would he be riding a bike AND carrying crutches, is he delivering them? Does he need them? Can't be if he is riding the bike) To finish off his distinctive look he adds a blunt in his mouth and proceeds through the intersection with caution .... allowing everyone around to bask in his glory.... Once Again.. I laughed.. OUT FUCKING LOUD... What the hell is going here. Why can't there be any normal people walking around? I'm done.. I really am!