Here I go again.

Too good to be true....
It always feels the same....

I've been giving myself room to grow as of late. Attempting to accept it's over between "HIM" and I .... and allowing room for moving on. I will say with every day, the pain gets a lil easier to deal with. I met this really beautiful man. So beautiful in fact, that I almost wonder if he's too good to be true. I do this to myself a lot.....you know, second guess myself.... I Wonder WHY does he like me... and then it happens all over again...I get hurt over thinking the situation and letting a perfect opportunity pass me by. I'm so goal orientated right now and even though I sing that song and dance about I don't want a man... or need a man.. it's a BIG FAT LIE! Sorry.... I think I've said this before... this is not my area of honesty.

His smell on my pillow.
Now, back to this beautiful man. For the sake of anonymity, I will leave all names out of this blog, but my Arlyn KNOWS exactly what's up.... ( ya'll know he's taking over my page... gotta love Arlyn... he's a real sweetie...even when he doesn't GIVE ME MY WAY...) LMAO Ok, I'm focused now. Anyhow, this man makes me laugh like no other I've met as of yet... he's tall and an absolute vision of perfection. Problem is circumstances as they may will prevent us from spending any time for quite some time. The time I've spent hanging out with him and talking on the phone has been real cool. HE doesn't expect anything from me and I like that. He isn't NOSEY or ask any questions about my ex... although he is a big scardy cat when it comes to fast driving on slick, wet roads.. ;) I like him, but I'm hiding it real well. I don't like getting attached.. (refer back to the crush on you know who... and u see how that turned out). I would like to get closer to him, but I've already judged and juried him. Some of you may not know what that means, so let me explain. He's gorgeous... he's successful and women are abundant in his world... How could I EVER make a difference in his life? ( there I go second guessing myself again) He makes me feel so beautiful next to him.. and he smells so fucking good. Sometimes you men don't know how far little things can go with a woman. Honestly, his sense of humor is what got me..... the laughter is what I really need now in my life... the space to grow and the opportunity to be just Cherise ( Reese). I truly believe he can give me that.... Guess my timing is off again ( so what's new?).

This morning....
I felt strange . I missed "HIM"... but I wanted to get closer to "HIM". I backed off and shut down. Was I wrong? Did I give too much of myself too soon.. or did I give too little?... either way it goes... "Every time I try to leave something keeps holding me back" It's my choice... so do I see any traveling on my horizon...?