Me and my bright ideas

Current mood: dorky
Category: Life

I'm at home getting ready for the gym when I get this great idea! Why spend my time cooped up in the gym on such a beautiful day..right? I ask my son if he wants to go skating with me. He agrees and we suit up. First mistake, I left my water. You don't realize how truly HOT it is outside until you get out there and it seems the sun has an obssession with the top of my forehead. By the time I get to the corner, I am fully sweating (note: the corner is about uhhhh 100 steps away). I breathe a sigh of relief when I seen the hamburger stand at the corner and I immediately direct MarQuin to go get me some water. After gulping down the water in one big ass swallow we journey on. Now mind you, I have not officially skated "outside" in years. There's a big difference from skating in a rink, which is a controlled environment, to a sidewalk, where u NEVER know what u will encounter. We get half way up the road, or I do at least, MarQuin been left me at this point .. I decide to cross the street. I position myself into the cross walk at an angle that the cars can see me... I step out and WHAT! This mothafucca in a city truck almost hits me.. I'm pissed, cursing and yelling while trying to hold my balance.. this fool gets out of the car... ok, now what.. I'm yelling .. and he says " Get out of the street!" I yell back, " It's a cross walk mothafucca! I'm supposed to be in the street!". Another motorist agrees and gets out of his car to yell too. He tells the man I'm gonna report you! LOL Me and Quin skate on. Now, it feels like I finally got the hang of it right! I'm gliding along feeling the ocean breeze... we skate farther and farther until we hit some rough ass driveways... I go careening down the sidewalk full speed and hit the bump hard.. I wobble all the way across the street, up the next driveway and run right into the light pole. My son just looks on in amazement. This couldn't have been so hard back in the day. I remember climbing and jumbing.. sliding and one leg rolling.. what the hell happened to me.. Well, I will tell you what happened... My ass got old. I'm 31 and uncoordinated. I didn't have breasts back then and I sure didn't have all these hips.. it was easier to slide and glide... I was so embarrassed. My son said, " Momma, your face is red... hahaha".... yea well, it's that damned bright ass spot light from the sun.. I skate on the best I could.. avoiding potholes and trees.. I finally get back on my street and I'm relieved.. I think to myself... " The gym is the safest place for me to be....."