Where is this going?

GO to sleep Cherise....
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Blogging


I didn't plan on starting out this New Year on a bad note... but as life has dictated so many times in the past... SHIT HAPPENS.... I met this guy named Kentin a little over a month ago... HE was cool like a summer breeze. We talked and eventually met and began to hang out. In my opinion, He was everything that I would want in a man. Mind you I wasn't forcing anything. In fact, I was careful to keep my distance and allow space and room to grow. As the weeks pressed on ... situations seemed to be leading in one direction. I noticed myself thinking about more than usual... so I stopped! Dead in my tracks I STOPPED! I didn't want to lead myself on or him. I definitely didn't want to find myself in a situation where I was going to end of up hurt. I'd been there all too many times in the last 4 years to last a lifetime! I decided to try something totally from the norm ( at least for me).... I decided to xpress these feelings I was develoing. Basically, I told him I didn't feel comfortable having sex with him without knowing where this was going. I wasn't asking for a commitment, but I know I am not the type to sleep with him and the next man simultaneously..... and I'm also not into sharing ( at least men). I didn't know what to expect from him.



Well, I will tell you what I got... a bunch of bullshit lines! The usual I think we should be just friends bullshit... thus which prompted my previous blog. This totally hurt my feelings because I honestly thought he was a good guy. He was a complete gentleman from the start... well that all changed. Gone was MR. Nice Guy and enter Mr. Asshole. I attributed this change partially to the conversation we'd had on Sunday. I'd spoken with a few close male friends who'd brought a lot of points to light... then I'd been enlightened even more so by a few close female friends. I'd realized maybe I'd jumped the gun.... maybe he actually wasn't leading me on and I was just a little overly sensitive. SO I apologized as did he. I decided to continue a friendship with him.



Today.....
He started the conversation via text message this morning... it continued on all day long. We talked and talked... he actually has great conversation. We got on the subject of us... I mentioned to him I am NOT interested in changing him... my only goal is to provide him with a different experience.. I didn't expect anything... conversation continues on... and on into a sexual nature. He proceeds to tell me that he will not be engaging in any sexual contact with me because I am just too emotional... WHOA... I let it go by playfully responding... " I don't think you really want to do that"... and on goes the convesation... at some point the conversation took a wrong turn. I was dryly joking with him and he was taking it serious... ( oh boy does that sound familiar)... so I stop him DEAD IN HIS FUCKING TRACKS!!!

"Look, (I say)... I don't NEED u to fuck me nor anyone else.. there are plenty of men that WANT ME... " He responds, "Now u sound like a light skin gurl".... Ok... I'm tired of this shit .... First, he has some personal vendetta against light skin gurls... He believes we have bad attitudes and think we are entitled... SLOW THE FUCK DOWN BROTHA! First off! I don't feel I am entitled to anything.. I work EVERYDAY.. Secondly, I try and treat people as I wish to be treated... My attitude has nothing to do with the fact that I am light skinned.

Ok, so now he's mad... (although claiming NOT to be) He's threatening to insult me... (saying he won't but he can) I politely remind him how immature that is and advise him I've done NOTHING to him... He says... "well... I didn't say u did, but you're annoying me by asking the same question and making the same statements.."( he is referring to the not having sex with me part)... Ok... big misunderstanding.. I was joking and laughing.. shit, he laughed too...



How did we get here?
Don't know ... what I do know is I log onto Myspace and he's deleted me from his list.. LMAO .. Wow that is immature.. WTF? He's showing me.. I mean, I could say a lot of things right? But guess what I learned tonight...

#1. I still LOVE Aaron

#2. I am beautiful, intelligent and way too good to be treated like shit

#3.SOME Men are fucking immature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#4.My heart no longer exists

#5.I am just fine being ALONE

#6.Never reveal too much too soon

#7. Never put too much into one person.. you'll always be let down (thanks Arlyn)

#8.Most people take my kindness for a weakness.

#9. I knew I didn't want to get on his bad side... HA!



So with that being said... I guess it's safe to say he won't be speaking to me anymore.. I told Joyce today was going to be a horrible day.... LMAO



P.S. Hey K... Thanks for the VS... ;) I will think of u everytime I put them on... LMAO


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