Observations.. What I see

So I'm laughing again...
This week seemed to drag on.. blah blah blah blah! But as always I've managed to find some humor in everyday life. Let's start with yesterday. I'm on my way to work, I get off the freeway and I see a big sign drapped in front of Weinersnitzel... OPEN FOR BREAKFAST! First thought, "Who the HELL eats chili dogs for breakfast?" So, me, curious George, decides to drive in for a closer look. I get in the drive-thru and take a look at the menu... eggs, bacon, croissants? WTF? All I have to say is I don't buy it... Stick to what you're good at.... CHILI DOGS...

I'm finally at work, settled in... then Kenitra asks if I want to go to the cafe... I don't have any cash, but decide to go anyway ( i mean, who turns down a free meal?) We're walking and all of a sudden I hear Madonna " Get into the groove, boy you've got to prove your love to me,....yeaaaa"... WTFFFFFFFFF! We get to the stop sign and see a man, not just any MAN! More like a 70ish man, on a bike... not just ANY BIKE.. a three wheeler with a helmet on and a flag. This fool has a boom box strapped to the back of the bike. I fell out. And for anyone that doesn't KNOW me... I laugh LOUD! Kenitra is like, you've never seen him before... helll nawwww!



I swear I'm NOT lying...
Wednesday night was super busy for me... (oh yea, SUPER is my new word for 07) After picking up Quin I ended up in Burlington Coat Factory... Opps WRONG PLACE FOR ME TO BE WITH MY CC. I didn't do too bad, I only spent $70... Ok, so the boy is SUPER hungry... he's damned near ready to pass out and bored as hell watching me shop! (hey he better learn to like it now because it won't get any easier when he grows up! lol) It's almost 8:30 and still need to get to the gym, so I decided to hit up Yoshinoya... as it doesn't compromise my health conscious ways.. LMAO!! We get inside and I run to the bathroom.... I come out and there is some guy talking to my son... Then he turns to me and says, "I got a high yella sista look just like you, cept she short! She mean too, like to fight!" Then he proceeds to demonstrate with his fists how she throws her punches. He had to be about 6 ft tall, my color and he only had two teeth in his mouth. The entire time I was on the phone with Trechelle... so please believe I am NOT making this shit up for fun.... Anyhow, he goes on to tell me his sister is married to Snoops uncle, Junebug..... he said he's been knowing Snoop since he was quin's size.... then he starts naming off all of Snoops brother's, Bing, Jerry... ect. ect... I'm trying my damnedest to ignore this clown, but he's drunk and relentless! I start walking to my car and he's following me... so I start fucking with him....I'm repeating everything he says.... so he tells me, "Your boy look like you, but he got his daddy's legs... yea he got his daddy legs and he act like him too...!" I asked him when was the last time he seen quin's daddy and he said, " I ain't! I just know!" I was cracking up! He looked at me and said," You a fine piece of work, yo husband is lucky! Now, give me a dollar fo some beer..." I fell out... but u know what, I gave his ass a dollar... cuz that shit was hella entertaining.... nothing better than a good laugh!



Well, it's a new weekend... I've already hit the gym this morning... getting ready to clean my house and head out.. It's going down tonight.... where will u be? Life's too short.. and in the words of my beautiful cousin, Kristin... Live, Laugh, Love... and no more fucking velour, short sets big gurls.... lotion those thighs... LOL LOL

PEACE!

A day in the life of Reese....

There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's....hehe


Woke up this morning with a lot on my mind.. The night before had been totally out of control. I say this because anytime you find yourself doing something just for the sake of doing "it"... then in my opinion you're out of control. I learned a lot this week. #1 I Gotta Love me... I HAVE to, otherwise happiness will never be in me and I will NEVER be able to love or make anyone else happy. #2 the next man that comes into my life will have to WORK hard to get anywhere near my heart... and I plan to make him work... why should I be the sole supporter??



Later on I ran some errands... picked up MarQuin. He was going to his best friends bday party which just conveniently happened to be across the street from Aaron. No, I couldn't resist temptation.... gosh I love him... *Sigh* I did see him. He cut the hair off.... I liked the hair. But he's beautiful even so. It's truly amazing to me how this man, who was once my world, can sit right next to me as if I don't existat all... that still hurts, but I work through it... after some brief small talk... a look at MarQuin's report card following some uncomfortable silence, he exited my car and I drove away......I left my heart on his lawn..



After sitting on my couch for quite some time doing absolutely NOTHING I began browsing Myspace..then I decided to go out.. I called my sister, but she didn't answer... I called a few friends.. still no answer. I sat there for a moment more and said, "Fuck it! I am going out ALONE!" I headed to the shower... got dressed and out the door I went. When I got to the club I headed to straight to the bar...1st drink I was feeling relaxed... 2nd drink I was feeling GOOD.. 3rd drink I was on the dance floor sweating like a pig. I fucking love it! I felt sooo sexy and beautiful. Men were everywhere.. dancing with me... talking to me.. OK.. this wasn't so bad after all. Of course there is NOTHING that's going to come from anyone I met tonite.. but it was FUN... and I enjoyed ME.. and I didn't need any reinforcement from anyone else... by my 6th drink they were playing Bob Marley and I was STILL dancing.. When the lights came on I stumbled down the stairs. It took me a moment to regain my composure, but I made it safely to my car. I decided to stop at Denny's and have some breakfast. I figured that would give me a moment or so to sober up. It helped. I sat there alone people watching for about 30 minutes. Good thing my apt is just down the street from the club. I am at home now... in my pj's... writing this.. still a little tipsy, but I feel wonderful or like someone I know says.. FAN TAS TIC!



It's good to be 30 and look 21... it's even better that I am recognizing how wonderful I am... and I am relishing in my own glory...

Where is this going?

GO to sleep Cherise....
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Blogging


I didn't plan on starting out this New Year on a bad note... but as life has dictated so many times in the past... SHIT HAPPENS.... I met this guy named Kentin a little over a month ago... HE was cool like a summer breeze. We talked and eventually met and began to hang out. In my opinion, He was everything that I would want in a man. Mind you I wasn't forcing anything. In fact, I was careful to keep my distance and allow space and room to grow. As the weeks pressed on ... situations seemed to be leading in one direction. I noticed myself thinking about more than usual... so I stopped! Dead in my tracks I STOPPED! I didn't want to lead myself on or him. I definitely didn't want to find myself in a situation where I was going to end of up hurt. I'd been there all too many times in the last 4 years to last a lifetime! I decided to try something totally from the norm ( at least for me).... I decided to xpress these feelings I was develoing. Basically, I told him I didn't feel comfortable having sex with him without knowing where this was going. I wasn't asking for a commitment, but I know I am not the type to sleep with him and the next man simultaneously..... and I'm also not into sharing ( at least men). I didn't know what to expect from him.



Well, I will tell you what I got... a bunch of bullshit lines! The usual I think we should be just friends bullshit... thus which prompted my previous blog. This totally hurt my feelings because I honestly thought he was a good guy. He was a complete gentleman from the start... well that all changed. Gone was MR. Nice Guy and enter Mr. Asshole. I attributed this change partially to the conversation we'd had on Sunday. I'd spoken with a few close male friends who'd brought a lot of points to light... then I'd been enlightened even more so by a few close female friends. I'd realized maybe I'd jumped the gun.... maybe he actually wasn't leading me on and I was just a little overly sensitive. SO I apologized as did he. I decided to continue a friendship with him.



Today.....
He started the conversation via text message this morning... it continued on all day long. We talked and talked... he actually has great conversation. We got on the subject of us... I mentioned to him I am NOT interested in changing him... my only goal is to provide him with a different experience.. I didn't expect anything... conversation continues on... and on into a sexual nature. He proceeds to tell me that he will not be engaging in any sexual contact with me because I am just too emotional... WHOA... I let it go by playfully responding... " I don't think you really want to do that"... and on goes the convesation... at some point the conversation took a wrong turn. I was dryly joking with him and he was taking it serious... ( oh boy does that sound familiar)... so I stop him DEAD IN HIS FUCKING TRACKS!!!

"Look, (I say)... I don't NEED u to fuck me nor anyone else.. there are plenty of men that WANT ME... " He responds, "Now u sound like a light skin gurl".... Ok... I'm tired of this shit .... First, he has some personal vendetta against light skin gurls... He believes we have bad attitudes and think we are entitled... SLOW THE FUCK DOWN BROTHA! First off! I don't feel I am entitled to anything.. I work EVERYDAY.. Secondly, I try and treat people as I wish to be treated... My attitude has nothing to do with the fact that I am light skinned.

Ok, so now he's mad... (although claiming NOT to be) He's threatening to insult me... (saying he won't but he can) I politely remind him how immature that is and advise him I've done NOTHING to him... He says... "well... I didn't say u did, but you're annoying me by asking the same question and making the same statements.."( he is referring to the not having sex with me part)... Ok... big misunderstanding.. I was joking and laughing.. shit, he laughed too...



How did we get here?
Don't know ... what I do know is I log onto Myspace and he's deleted me from his list.. LMAO .. Wow that is immature.. WTF? He's showing me.. I mean, I could say a lot of things right? But guess what I learned tonight...

#1. I still LOVE Aaron

#2. I am beautiful, intelligent and way too good to be treated like shit

#3.SOME Men are fucking immature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#4.My heart no longer exists

#5.I am just fine being ALONE

#6.Never reveal too much too soon

#7. Never put too much into one person.. you'll always be let down (thanks Arlyn)

#8.Most people take my kindness for a weakness.

#9. I knew I didn't want to get on his bad side... HA!



So with that being said... I guess it's safe to say he won't be speaking to me anymore.. I told Joyce today was going to be a horrible day.... LMAO



P.S. Hey K... Thanks for the VS... ;) I will think of u everytime I put them on... LMAO


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It's not you... it's me...

Someone PLEASE point me into the right direction. I can't, for the life of me fathom WHY I keep continuing to meet men that A. Are Liars and B.Want to Lie to me like I'm a fucking idiot and C. Think they can get away with hurting me without any consequence. In the begining I am smart, beautiful and cool to be around... but as soon as anything remotely intimate happens or the "conversation" tends to sway in the direction of ..."Where are we going with this".... I hear the same bullshit lines. I am sick and fucking tired of draining my life energy with idiots...!! Now, some may argue that this is a conscious choice I make... and that may very well be true, HOWEVER... by the time you've figured out they are liars and idiots it's too late... or you've already fallen in love with them.



I've been told I give too much too soon... or I reveal too much too soon. Ok, for the sake of arguement maybe I do. Just because I don't have some down low, alterior motive to dig into your pockets or trap you into becoming my husband doesn't mean I deserve to be walked on like a door mat! And so what if I let my emotions hang freely upon my shoulder for everyone to see. Is it a crime to be honest and forthcoming with exactly what I want and don't want? Furthermore, once I lay down my intentions isn't a man obligated to act accordingly to those intentions?

For example, If I tell you in the begining a casual fling is NOT an option, shouldn't YOU BE MAN ENOUGH to walk away if that's all you're looking for? It seems much worse to dip your spoon in the pudding for a taste and then leave the container open and exposed .... half eaten for the next person to come along. Leave well enough alone.



What's wrong with me?
I've entertained this question time upon time. Intially, I've pondered if losing weight would change my circumstances.. well, I've been at this gym thing for almost 5 months and nothing has changed except my physical appearance. Ok, well then emotionally I'm just fucked up. I've been through entirely too much in my short time on earth... maybe my mind has just had enough... Maybe, no one will ever get me. So I ask myself....

Cherise, do you love yourself? ( silence)

He, they, or them never will if you don't. True words. Easier said than done.



Black men... Grow up!
You can't spend your lives running from real commitments and love. Hiding in dark rooms for hours playing PS2 or 3... until you can't see straight. Your boys aren't be there when your 50 and your back goes out... She will.. if u give HER a chance... life if supposed to get easier as we age. In my opinion, MOST black men my age are more immature, lazy and simply irresponsible than when I was 18 years old! Notice I said MOST not all. Unfortunately, the small percentage that are about anything are either GAY.. taken, or not tall enough (lol), just joking... I'm really not that superficial. This shit sucks... And I give up.... Period, at least for now.