Just leave me alone....

It's Friday... Hot, Humid and HERE I am sitting at home staring at the pc...
writing. Well, things could be worse. Somehow in my silly little heart,
it feels like it is. Why does he contact me, only to reiterate that he doesn't want me? What's up with that? One minute, it's," I love you, Reese" followed by FUCK YOU!

I haven't been to his house since I left.
I make it a point to stay away. I just work. Because what else do I have?
My son is away with his dad. My best friend is starting a new family.
And well, everyone else has a LIFE except ME. I don't want to date.
And it's even hard for me to get out and enjoy myself. While I appreciate being noticed for the few pounds I've lost during this transition,
I'm lonely.


I've organized my poetry book. I'm happy with it. I started on getting my blog together a few months ago, but I stopped because I felt like it was missing something... an ending. So, I'm content on having my poetry book published for now.


I love him. It hurts so bad that I cannot even cry anymore. The fights are
endless and honestly pointless. He told me today, "Who cares who's right
or wrong? I don't, I'm tired of fighting!" It's the first thing he's said in a long time that I agreed with.
I can't make his wrongs right or vice versa. This is my fault...It's me. I need validation. Revenge.


Something to make ME feel just. I just CAN'T MOVE ON.

Or can I, but refuse?


I asked him to make a decision today and while I ranted and raved about past events I cannot change I heard him CLEARLY when he said,"Cherise, I don't want to be with you".................. Well, Aaron, neither do I.


I know they say time heals all pain. I've been here once before.
I guess this time around I need to try a different angle.