November 27, 2005
Happy Thanksgiving?
I Want to rant and rave right now because what the fuck do I have to be thankful for? LOL I lost my babies, my job and my dignity in a matter of 3 weeks. Even so after all that was said and done I still hightailed to Thanksgiving dinner with Aaron. A week later I'm ever so bitter. Still asking questions I don't want the answer to and still finding more info that I really don't wanna know. I don't believe in love right now. Love is merely a word used in a well versed poem/story... Like Happily Ever After .... or waiting on Prince Charming to come and rescue you from some make believe tower. WEll, I've let my hair down one too many times... Pretty soon I'm going to be bald if these Ogars keep climbing up.. Love is just a fantasy far from my own reality....LOL Maybe the only reason WHY I'm even entertaining the idea of continuing this relationship is because I don't want to be alone. That's a horrible reason I know, but at least I'm honest. Also, I feel like I've been thru so much with this man why should anyone else reap what I sowed. Again a selfish endeavor. No, it's none of these. I love him. When I look at him I love him... when I hear him speaking I love him,.. when he is kissing away my doubt I love him. But I hate him. And I feel weak for continuing to love him. Am I the only person who is this dumb. I should walk away for good. Leave him! Make him know how bad he's hurt me. This seems like a never-ending saga.. like a never-ending story.. Kinda like Lauryn Hill's Ex- Factor, " You let go and I'll let go too" He KNOWS he's hurt me, but am I being childish for making him suffer.. Yes I am. I'm really confused right now. I've been taking a lot of time with myself for the past few days. Just reflecting on where I want to be. How I want to live. My job search is going pretty well... I have a few offers, but before I commit I want to make sure I'm happy whereever I go. I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. Going thru all that I've been thru in the last 6 weeks has made me realize just how tough I am. I know how important it is to LOVE ME. I'm doing that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
You have your life, health and strength ma!...not to mention your beautiful son...and Teej and ME!...that's alot to be thankful for Chica! Trust and know...:)
LOL That is why I love ya'll so much. I have a lot of catching up to do on all the blogs...
You are doing a lot of questioning and evaluating which is exactly what you should be doing. And yes, you are strong, you can get through this.
Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP cisco vpn cancer Zyrtec coventry rhode island Commander jeep 4x4 Oxycontin false positives drug testing Bentley a lot of leavign www blockadenetz ch spam filter Capreso coffee makers full antispam Outlook express spam filter add on fast cruises 2001 gmc front wheel bearings yahoo toolbar with antispam on demand phone conferencing Antispam find software0a Antidepressants interact with pituitary oxycontin pictures of it Erika model
best regards, nice info »
That's a great story. Waiting for more. Soda weight loss diet olazapine fluoxetine combination Oxycontin dosage information Full metal jacket lyrics Paoli furniture 1987 mazda rx7 forums http://www.beforeandaftersofbreastaugmentation.info/lasek-eye-surgery.html Black soft genuine leather cargo hobo shoulder bag virginia beach high school scholarships Foam ear cushions for senheiser headphones diabetic diet gestational paxil custom lasik los angeles sweater patterns http://www.ladies-award-ring.info/australias_dance_remix_top_cds.html lasik surgery stoneham Free spyware remover free quit smoking aids lasik plus eye center raleigh
Best regards from NY! Do penis size enhanchers work Big dicks tight pussys 25 free videos http://www.penis-pumps-6.info/Images_google_co_ukimages_q_jenna_jameson.html Cartoon cartoon dirty dirty porn Freak anal anal http://www.1988-honda.info/Klonopin-wafer.html Bikini sue What's next after dvd players graphic card how to accent fishing Valium death free downloadable worlds bestsex xxx porn clips jl stealth box for nissan titan symptoms of menstrual craps after period Asian guy fucking a white chick free jenna jameson video porn Football sport book betting
Your reρort offers confiгmeԁ helpful to me personаlly.
Іt’s very helpful аnd you're simply certainly extremely well-informed of this type. You have got opened up my personal face in order to numerous opinion of this subject along with intriquing, notable and strong articles.
Take a look at my web page; buy ambien
Post a Comment