May 15, 2006

The day before I grew up. What I learned.

So today is my official last day as a 20something. It feels weird. Actually, I think my body is literally fighting this change as we speak. LOL I have been sick for the last 3 weeks. Just last Wednesday I was diagnosed with Tonsilistis...that spread into my ear...which has taken away part of my hearing for the time being. I have been on 5 antibiotic treatments... I've suffered sleepless nights with high fevers and excessive coughing... Guess what! I'm still turning 30 tomorrow. LMAO I've fought with this for last 15 years... As a matter of fact, I remember turning 15
years old and thinking to myself..."15 more years to go until I'm old"
Seems funny now. I had a list of things I wanted accomplished by the time I was
30. I wanted to be married, have a home, a great career. Unfortunately, they forget to teach Real World 101 in High School. You have your whole life ahead of you is the most over-rated statement ever used! I used to hear it more often when I first turned 18 and it really got on my last nerve.. I don't hear it so much now... LOL






The Big 30 May 16,2006

I thought it would feel different somehow. It doesn't. I still feel exactly the
same as I did when I turned 18 (with the exception of the not so flat stomach)
or when I turned 21 (but I'm not so reckless in my decision making) or even when I
turned 25 (but I'm more grounded)... I think I get this age thing now. When I look
in the mirror I don't see an older woman. I still see Cherise. No wrinkles or lines
or anything that I expected to see at 30. I used to have this mental list of what
I was supposed to have by 30. I realize how seriously unrealistic that list was.
The house, the career, the Husband.... may very well be a part of my FUTURE, but
real life requires real goals. It's ok that I don't have this make believe
important career. I have a really good job, that pays well. My writing is coming
along and I know I will be published by the end of this year. My son is growing
up to be a most interesting person. He's the innocence that was lost in me.
I'm ok in an apartment with a view of the sky. LOL The house will come soon enough.
Yes, I could have made better choices when I was growing up, but we live and we learn. I'm grateful to be here. Breathing. Able to make better choices in my future.



Happy 30th Birthday, Cherise.
You EARNED it.