Change. People Change. Days Change. I Change.

Reflection.
This blog, I feel now reflects who and what I am. It's calm underneath all the drama. LOL I had to take some time and get within me. I'm kinda just sitting still waiting for IT to hit me.. whatever IT is. I don't have a job anymore. Which is good and bad.. good that I have plenty of money in the bank to keep up with my carnote.. and bad because I feel like I wasted 6 weeks of my time. See, when I was hired it was supposed to be a permanent position, I was taking someone's job that was leaving @ the end of December. Well, it's Jan 17 and she is still there.. and I guess she decided over the weekend that she wasn't moving to AZ after all. Boo Hoo Wah Wah... LMAO. So they politely left a VM on my cell advising me that my services were no longer needed. Oh Well, move on to the next opportunity.


Acceptance.
I've spent a lot of time with Aaron. We've broken up and gotten back together like 4 times since the New Year began. I believe he doesn't want me anymore. So, what should I do? I basically live with him because the situation @ my mom's isn't ideal. This past weekend was really great. We went out and had a great time. But the texts messages keep coming... and the women are adding up in the phone... and I'm just tired. I love him. He knows. I just accept whatever happens and I'm not hoping or expecting anything... not anymore. He says he loves me. This I believe to be true. But if he can't stop the conversations that lead to the I love you's and I need you's from all these "friends" he's never met... I can't give him me anymore. I won't spend another year being a private investigator.



On being a loser...

Now this is what I feel today.... Like a total loser. Let's see... I had my OWN apt in Vegas, a Job, friends, a stable life.
Now, My clothes live either in my car, Aaron's room or my mom's garage. I have no job, yet again. Well I have my son... and my life. Oh yea and my car.. lol ... Now, I understand how homeless can happen so fast. I can't blame anyone except myself. I chose to come here. I chose to leave everything I worked for behind. So, Now I must face the music. I will say, I don't miss Vegas, but I sure miss my bed and the comfort of having my own.There is nothing like it. I know that in times of adversity my personality almost always prevails because I'm strong. No matter how depressed or lost I become inside... I still must move on.




Some random issh I've done, seen, or read.....

I ate @ this great Brazilian restuarant in Old Town Pasadena... but my stomach didn't have the same idea of greatness.. LMAO

I watched this wack ass, white washed movie about Shaka Zulu that had nothing to do with the King Himself... we had to turn it off.. it was too too funny and ridiculous.


Also, I seen American Pyscho.. for anyone who has NEVER seen this movie, PLEASE rent it.. it is well worth the 2 hrs.


Aaron and I went to church on Sunday. Yea I said church! The theme of the morning was, "Homosexuality! That's just nasty!" Aaron and I could not stop laughing. Please, someone give me GOD without all the propaganda... All the HUH's! and screaming Yes Lord's! everytime the Bishop opens his mouth, interfere's with my ability to catch the Holy Ghost or otherwise talk with GOD myself. I'm much too preoccupied with the drama formulating about the church and maybe all the yelling scares off any spirit that dares to get next to me. LOL



Finally, a collab effort from Aaron and I.. Something I like to call, "We agree to disagree"....




I wrote...on the napkin of course.

Love is pain.
Pain is reality.
Reality is an unconscious
realm forever evolving.

He wrote.
Sorrow.
Sweet Sorrow,
I'll learn tomorrow
but I love the sweet
sorrow today.


and he Continues.

Just Live.


I respond.

Just love.
Love to understand.
Understand to love.
Live to be just.
Just Love.



He replies,

Wah! Wah! Wah!


...incoming text. LOL


Peace, hope ya'll enjoy the newness.

Reese