More poetry...

Friday, June 08, 2007

Current mood: blah
Category: Writing and Poetry


Captured Soul

Copyright Cherise J Thomas 2005


In the eye of the storm is where u explode...furiously yelling and ripping through anything that gets in your way...to get a point across. It`s nature, yet I fight it like it`s not supposed to be. U make your rounds chaotically in and out of my heart like a thief in the night...Tormenting and tearing into my soul, swearing me away, but refusing to let go. You`ve stripped me down to all or nothing, leaving me exposed; but i have nothing to hide that wasn`t already hidden; unconsciously known...in the dark I am cold and confused..violated and abused by the winds of your distrust. Spinning around in the eye of your storm battered about as u refuse to let go...I`ve succombed to your ultimate task at hand & i`ve given u all that I am. I cannot fight back anymore.I am your Captured Soul.
2005cjt

"Grey"

Cjt 2005

This is who I was:

A little girl born innocent in this world.
No stranger to touches.
Curly, long hair,bright brown eyes..tan skin
Black Father; White Mother
full of potential
conflicted within.
No one knew the pain
I kept inside.
They sent me to school
unprepared to deal with
my racial divide.
I was different though
never made aware
Until the day
Parent-Teacher conferences
came and all of my friends just stared.
"Yo Momma Is White" I remember
one kid yelled.. followed by
echoing laughter.
I just shrugged my shoulders
and replied, "oh well"
That day marked the begining
of my own internal fight...
from then I knew It wasn't
cool to be white.
I was hurt & confused...
which led to my own self abuse.
I moved aimlessly from place to place.
In search of identity;love;a plan.
I'd no self respect & found myself
succombing to the desires of a man...
thinking this is all I had..
I didn't understand Why it was so
hard to be loved just for who I am.
My self worth slowly evaporated
and between my legs was the only
thing that validated my heinous reality.

This who I became:

Angry & so Full of hate.
I excluded myself from anything great.
WHO AM I? WHO AM I?
MY SOUL WOULD SCREAM!!
I'm gonna slap this bitch if she
keeps speaking spanish to me!
Doesn't she know I'm Black?
I'm so tired of hearing,
"Well, you don't look Black".
How ignorant is that?
If they had an ounce of intelligence
they'd know that dark skin is not the
only definition of being BLACK!
Color Conscious White Folks;
Envious Black Folks;
They all had my mind blowing up in smoke.
Too Black to be White.. Too white to be black...
It seemed I was the enemy on both sides of the attack.
Which side do I choose?
My heart's in dismay,Seems no matter where I
journey I lose ultimately...
So finally I've decided at the end of this day...
I'm Not black nor white..
I'm just Grey.








Rejection
CJT2006


I'm not the beauty icon you see on T.V..
My honey-colored light skin didn't get me in or
even close for that matter... I'm on the back
of the bus, invisible to the struggle surrounding
me....detached revolutionary, dark dreamer and
black power believer!
I am not his image of black beauty... instead I'm
a constant reminder of his pain..a shadow of discontenment;
half breed resentment.
He has no idea about my internal battles; I come from
no where and my skin is bare of any remaining history;
Many of my nights spent crying wishing upon a darker envy:
Nappy hair, ebony eyes, black fist held high!

I'm the lured sexual desire of your man as shown in mainstream media.
Clashing with righteousness and the opinions that I'm superior.
Never a wife, but always a hoe... stereo-types that I'm easy,
sleazy,and superb on my knees.. high maintainence, high stress...
So hard to please.
Truth is, I'm quiet preferring my solitude..there's nothing bad about my attitude.
I'm loving and longing for my king to make me a queen.. I'm searching
for acceptance in shades of deep mahogany. Love scenes, as shown in
love jones... or love and basketball don't depict me at all.. Instead,I'm the
vixen trying seduce your man or the woman who devises the plan to take
all and leave nothing...sigh...and rightfully so, since you know, I am just
a high yella, house nigga, wanna be, white man's hoe.