Life as Myself...

I know it's been way too long since I've jotted any personal
feelings down in my blog. Truth is, seems I've been hesitant.
I was trying to maintain some type of positive elements in my life.
I don't ALWAYS want to continue to write about my spiraling pain
that continues to go nowhere. I'm at a cross roads today. My relationship
is over. I'm sorely depressed and desperately trying to hold onto to
anything that means love. It feels horrible to go through this. It feels
like my life is over. Understandably, there are people in my life that
have assured me this is not true. And I know I am not the only woman
or person in the world to have pain, but it sure feels like it when
you're experiencing it. Everyday that I remain in his house life gets
worse. I'm reminded of his disgust and lack of respect for my person.
He plays cruel games with my heart pretending that we will be ok,
only to revoke any hope of reconcile. And frankly, I should want out.
But there is a definite sadness in my soul. A feeling that I will never
marry, never have another child and worst of all never love again.

Soon enough I will be moving out.. Most likely in the next 2 months.
Maybe that will help.

Just when you thought people couldn't get any Stranger...

Last night, while relaxing on the biggest day of my life (LMAO) the news came
on with this breaking story. Not only was it strange, but borderline hilarious.
A man was going around Orange County licking little boys feet. Ok, we KNOW he is
definitely strange, but what little boy lets a grown man lick their feet?
And furthermore, how does that conversation come about? They showed his mug shot
and Aaron and I could barely hold it together. We laughed so hard.
He deserves to be in jail for this one, but I really think he needs some
psychological help!

Please read for more laughter!






Transient accused of licking boys' feet

By CINDY CARCAMO
The Orange County Register


Steve Jones



A transient who reportedly licked the feet of five boys in San Clemente and Dana Point faces multiple counts of child molestation, the Orange County District Attorney's Office reported Tuesday.

Steve Michael Jones, 43, passed himself off as a television producer and tricked the boys into letting him lick their feet, Senior Deputy District Attorney Mike Fell said.

Jones could spend 16 years in prison if convicted of five felony counts of lewd acts on a child under the age of 14 and one misdemeanor count of child annoyance.

Jones is accused of making explicit sexual statements to a boy under the age of 14 at a Carl's Jr. restaurant in San Clemente on Sept. 7.

Nearly seven months later, he approached several boys at a park near the Dana Point Library and licked the feet of four boys under 14, Fell said.

On April 13, he came across a trio walking barefoot in San Clemente and licked the bottom of one boy's feet, Fell said.

Anyone with information is asked to call (714) 347-8794.


Who the hell thought this guy was a TV Producer! LMAO

The day before I grew up. What I learned.

So today is my official last day as a 20something. It feels weird. Actually, I think my body is literally fighting this change as we speak. LOL I have been sick for the last 3 weeks. Just last Wednesday I was diagnosed with Tonsilistis...that spread into my ear...which has taken away part of my hearing for the time being. I have been on 5 antibiotic treatments... I've suffered sleepless nights with high fevers and excessive coughing... Guess what! I'm still turning 30 tomorrow. LMAO I've fought with this for last 15 years... As a matter of fact, I remember turning 15
years old and thinking to myself..."15 more years to go until I'm old"
Seems funny now. I had a list of things I wanted accomplished by the time I was
30. I wanted to be married, have a home, a great career. Unfortunately, they forget to teach Real World 101 in High School. You have your whole life ahead of you is the most over-rated statement ever used! I used to hear it more often when I first turned 18 and it really got on my last nerve.. I don't hear it so much now... LOL






The Big 30 May 16,2006

I thought it would feel different somehow. It doesn't. I still feel exactly the
same as I did when I turned 18 (with the exception of the not so flat stomach)
or when I turned 21 (but I'm not so reckless in my decision making) or even when I
turned 25 (but I'm more grounded)... I think I get this age thing now. When I look
in the mirror I don't see an older woman. I still see Cherise. No wrinkles or lines
or anything that I expected to see at 30. I used to have this mental list of what
I was supposed to have by 30. I realize how seriously unrealistic that list was.
The house, the career, the Husband.... may very well be a part of my FUTURE, but
real life requires real goals. It's ok that I don't have this make believe
important career. I have a really good job, that pays well. My writing is coming
along and I know I will be published by the end of this year. My son is growing
up to be a most interesting person. He's the innocence that was lost in me.
I'm ok in an apartment with a view of the sky. LOL The house will come soon enough.
Yes, I could have made better choices when I was growing up, but we live and we learn. I'm grateful to be here. Breathing. Able to make better choices in my future.



Happy 30th Birthday, Cherise.
You EARNED it.

My love is your love and so on...

"Somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what's more than enough"
Billie Holiday

I was going to add on to this, but I figured the quote said it all.

New car.. New Haters... Hey what's new.

I bought a new car on Friday. It was my 30th birtday present to myself. I've had plenty of cars.. new, used ... but none were in my name. About 18 months ago, I had an issue where my 2004 Maxima was taken... I could only get financed for 2003 Ford Taurus... I hated it! Absolutely hated it! But I sucked up my materialistic ways and did right by it.. I paid my notes on time, ahead of time with the hopes of building my damaged credit. ( Due to my ignorance and negligence of my credit in my early 20s)

Anyhow, all my efforts paid off. I have a much higher credit score. And I now own a 2006 Impala. I love it! Many didn't seem too pleased. Jealousy sucks ****!. It's ok. I know I DESERVE this! I earned it and I feel like I earned it.. Honestly, it feels great.. So here's to turning 30, and speeding past the slow cars in the fast lane! LOL