Today has just been an overall suck ass day. I didn't end my nite well, so when I woke up this morning I wasn't in the best of moods.I had to sit thru a long ass boring meeting. Then I ended up getting into it with Aaron. Lately it seems like I've been jumping thru hoops to be with him and around him. The other nite I called him and his phone picked up on the first ring. SO I left a rather snotty message.. Something like this:
I called to say good-nite but your phone is off.. wonder why. bye
Needless to say he was quite offended by this, so I apologized. Frankly, I didn't even see what the big deal was, but according to him I never do. Well, today I was just irritated hearing him say how he needs space & time and he didn't ask me to move back to Cali... and don't move back for him.. I just went off the handle. I'm tired ya'll. Before I wasn't doing enough to sustain him, so he left. Now, I'm putting forth the effort plus.. and it's still not good enough,.I'm confused, angry, hurt and alone. I hate it. Maybe I need to really move far away... some place where I'm forced to live and flourish.. it ain't happening here. I sat at work today and stared at my pc all day. I was so quiet our admin came by and said, "Cherise I didn't even know you were here!". I'm usually more lively and animated. Not now. He told me to stop crying and whining and let him breathe. IF it were so easy then I would. I have no real friends or family here in Vegas. No one to confide in that cares. I let him go the best way I knew how. I try to think positive.. I try not to call.. I let him email me first.. I do everything I can to make it right and it ALWAYS TURNS OUT WRONG. Maybe I'm just a big clown like he said.
Reese
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5 comments:
A, Babygirl don't kick Rocks like that, Just keep steppin' and take care of your son, thats all you can do. You look pretty, fuck it, you'll get another dude if dude don't act right. That phone shit is a funny thing, you know somtimes your phone can have no signal and calls go straight to tha answering service, and when that happens there's nothing on caller ID, Then to make shit worse I might already have messages, so I can't tell I have new messages, bitches be super heated, thinkin' I'm duckin' and dodgin' ya know. Shit somtimes shit ends up turning into an argument and I have to fire tha bitch or tell her to fire me because I can't defend what happened. I will not kiss a bitches ass, especially when I haven't done anything, feel.
Don't that phone of shit, make you just wanna go like "Tina Turner" did on Ike... and cold cut his ass...lol. Gotta be with Stac tho' "love is a b_tch..."
Blame it on the full moon (see my post)
Girl hang in there. Trust me when I say it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. He just doesn't know what he wants. It may be you but right now he sounds like he's too blind to see it. And that phone nonsense...ummm, let him get offended all he wants. This is a free country and we have free speech. You don't have to apologize for exercising yours.
www.princessdominique.com/blop
Romantic love is the most confusing phenomenon. However, self-love should be crystal clear.
Hey now!You are not a clown babygirl...just woman in love that's all.
I gotta go with Brea on this one...love yourself boo!
Hey you could move to the Chi...we have plenty of room here!:)
*smile boo*
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